That’s what I get for doing a dumb thing.

Friday night we went downtown to see Ross the Boss and took an Uber so we could have a few drinks. I rarely drink. I probably had a few mimosas around New Years and nothing really since then. Maybe like a glass of wine or two. So it wasn’t a great idea to have more than a few Seven and Sevens or Jack and Cokes that night. It wasn’t enough to make me act a fool, but I was definitely silly. I did have a great time, which still would have been had if I were sober. We took the Uber home, I washed up for bed, but I don’t remember falling asleep. I do remember waking up with my cat standing on me, having a bad headache, and feeling the spins a little. I knew I messed up. I had brunch plans, so I drank some water and took a shower, trying to feel normal.

I met Terry for brunch at Mimosa House, and it was my first time there, so I didn’t know it was an extremely busy and loud place. People buzzing around everywhere and a millions conversations happening everywhere. It also felt really bright. I think my senses may have just been really overstimulated because I was hungover and still slightly spinning. Obviously, this means it’s time for me to stay away from stronger drinks. Cannot hang. I ordered one classic mimosa, a water, and most importantly, a coffee. One I had all three of these beverages, I started feeling more secure and relaxed so I could enjoy my company. It was really nice to catch up. It made me think about how I hide in my house all the time and how catching up with a good friend is always beneficial. I was so lost in conversation I was almost taken by surprise when the food arrived! It was some badly needed nutrition!

We got to go boxes because we got full half way through our meal. We talked about going home to take naps because we both had plans that evening, but we shared a mimosa sampler after we talked about how cool it would be if they had mimosa samplers and noticed they did! We walked to our cars and headed home, and I immediately took the nap I needed.

I woke up from the nap because the dog barked for no important reason. I felt like I caught up on sleep a little. I was still really full. I washed my blankets and bummed around the house, but shortly I noticed my stomach felt like it was burning inside. It was like a weird heartburn or acid reflux, but mostly a result from the hard drinks. I ended up laying on the bed with my cat.

What’s worse is I had zero appetite, so my dinner hangout with Mischa ended up getting postponed. 😕 I felt shitty and would have made miserable company. I drank hot tea and it didn’t even help.

I felt much better this morning, and also got plenty of sleep. So, again, no more hard drinks for me.

Relaxing Saturday

Today has been relaxing. I woke up early but relaxed in bed, playing on my phone, without any sense of feeling rushed. We got up and went to Sactown Vegfest. I didn’t stay as long as I usually do. Instead, I quickly walked through the aisles and only looking for food rather than other merchandise.

The goodies I obtained were:

Fried Chik’n and Mac & Cheese sandwich by Compassion Meals

Vegan Conchas by Jaguar Baker

Seitan Mix by Bread Runner Kitchen

Vegan Monkey Bread by Olivier’s Vegan Bakery

I took the last three home, but I did try samples of the last two. I have tried the Conchas before and I love them!

I went home and relaxed for a while. I started watching the series called “You”. It’s interesting so far, although it’s different than what I usually watch. I have also been listening to my Elizabeth George audio book. Another about D.I. Thomas Lynley and Sargent Barbara Havers. I really like that Barbara Havers character.

It’s amazing how lazy I was feeling, but then I got up and went to the gym for a bit and did legs. I got a good workout, but should have spent more time on core. I have showered and am listening to my audio book again. I think we might go to Six Flags tomorrow, but it’s the shitty one in Vallejo.

Search continues.

I got the email at around ten in the morning that I will not be offered the job I applied for. She wrote a nice letter, although I am sure it was just a template.

The way it was worded was, “We have concluded another candidates qualifications more closely match our qualifications.” I somehow sense she went with someone younger and, in her opinion,  easier to assert dominance on, but I suppose it doesn’t matter now. She said the person who left the position was young. Maybe she prefers that. Oh well, it wasn’t meant to be. I shall carefully continue my search.

In the meantime, I suppose things are mellow at work. It seems management understands I was getting fed up from being spread to thin and also opposed to the idea of visiting customers. Hopefully the owner stops clinging on to the idea of me being the one to do that and accepts someone else can. I still feel a strange intensity in the air at work, though. Pressure from managements unhappiness with having to deal with him. I guess for now I will keep catching up on my work and minding my own business as I always do.

In other news, I am physically feeling better today. By back is feeling good, my cycle is on it’s way out. I went to the gym after work and hope to be consistent with going. This weekend is Superbowl weekend, and we used to aim to go for a nature wander. There’s a chance we might go to Six Flags, even though it’s the shitty one. I still want to do a nature wander, but that can always be done Saturday.

Haywire hormones

For the first time in my life, my monthly cycle has flipped the fuck out. This blog entry isn’t for everyone, and it might not be for anyone. So you can stop reading now, unless 40something year old women’s health is of interest.

I’ve only been “late” once in my life. I was nine days late in my early 20s. It was the only time in my life that I thought I was possibly pregnant, but I test proved I was not, and then my cycle came and confirmed it. But my cycle shows up every four weeks, maybe a bit early. It’s been regular, even after I lost an ovary in 2018. But my last cycle was in November and completely skipped December. That has never happened so it caught my attention and I figured something is definitely happening or something changed. My doctor suggested lab work, but the tests came back normal. I messaged her, asking what I should make of it, and she suggested I contact my gynecologist. But before I could do that, I noticed light spotting. Nothing major, just a tinge. It went on for about five days. A peach or raisin colored tinge.

I was like, “So, is it coming or going, or what’s going on here?” But then on the 6th day, there was normal blood. I figured all of that tinge shit I had seen for almost a week was just things trying to happen until it finally did. And the next two days were horribly heavy and crampy. And I felt absolutely crabby and on edge. Things simmered down after that, and even looked as if it was going to go away entirely, but it’s still lingering around. So altogether, my cycle has lasted twelve days now. Barely there, heavy, or regular, but twelve fucking days. What the fuck is happening? This isn’t normal for me. And I am pretty damn grouchy. I still have some lingering cramps. I feel gross. I haven’t been to the gym in a week.

Last time I went to the gym, I tweaked my lower back out. It hurt for a few days, but I think it is better now. My knee still hurts on and off every day. I should return to the gym soon now that my cycle is simmering down. Hopefully it will go the fuck away soon. I’ve never felt so grouchy and hormonal in all my life. I have such a consistent mood and am completely thrown off my how off my mood has been lately. This is a major source of stress that is adding to the stress of everything else right now. What I need is for my cycle to go away, get back to the gym to blow some steam, and continue to hide at home and amuse myself with relaxing things. And I definitely need to reach out to my gynecologist and let her know what’s been going on and get her opinion.


Back to work, feeling weird.

I went to work today and felt really weird and guilty, knowing I had an interview elsewhere yesterday. I feel like a cheating spouse with secrets. I saw two of the managers in the office as I walked through the hallway, and they greeted me. I stopped to talk because I could tell they wanted to follow up after knowing I was disgruntled Friday. They told me things were discussed and arrangements were made in my favor so I don’t have to worry about those things anymore. That made me feel a bit relieved, although I have to see for myself how things pan out.

I immediately got to work and was approached by a coworker, inviting me to try a baked good she made. She said she brought it in yesterday, but I wasn’t in, and she didn’t want to put it out until I was there so I could have some. I continued to work and try to catch up. Another coworker approached me and offered to share half of her cake with me. And another brought me a cupcake. That was three sweet treats in one day. And everyone was being rather nice. Was it a coincidence or does everyone know my pots have been boiling over at work lately?

I started feeling a little more accomplished towards the end of the day because I got a lot done, but to be honest, I still have a lot of catching up to do. Hopefully I can get that all done within the next few days and end the week on a good note. But then there’s that thing about the interview I had yesterday. I haven’t heard anything yet. I don’t know how to feel about it, but I see it as if they don’t hire me, it isn’t meant to be. But if they do hire me, a whole lot of my life is going to change and I will have to experience the horrid ordeal of breaking the news to my managers. I know they wouldn’t blame me for wanting a better opportunity. But then I am wondering if the other company will pick someone else. Maybe someone who is ready to start and not have to give a two week notice. Or maybe someone that my potential boss feels she connects with better. Who knows. What I really hope is that she doesn’t call my current employer for references, especially if she might not even hire me. That would suck for my mangers so find out about my plot that way.

I’m sure I will find out something by the end of the week. Stressful.


I had a job interview today.

Let me back track. Last May, I took a new position at my work. I love it. The problem is the company is always so short staffed that they focus less on having a fuller staff and more effort to make the few hardworking employees take on other work to compensate for all the work they can’t find staff for. I can multitask, but there’s only so much work you can pile on a person. I feel it’s better to take on a reasonable amount of tasks and do them at 100% then overload yourself with an outrageous amount of tasks and do them at $80. And lately I have been so overwhelmed that I can barely concentrate on my core job. It bothers me a lot, too, because I love doing a great job. I don’t mind helping with other things, but not if my core work is going to suffer.

The past two weeks were filled with a ridiculous amount of extra work due to missing staff, as well as an unusual setback that we were all affected by. I was eager to get back on track so I could catch up on my work, but something was brought to me that felt like a punch in the gut.

The owner is pushing hard for me to visit customers locally and pursue a closer business relationship with them. I was forced to do that a few years ago when I held my former position at this company. Through my experience, I learned the actual outcome of my store visits were not as productive as what he had cooked up in his head. He thinks I can drop in and the owner will be there to greet me and completely impressed with my efforts to reach out, resulting in a life long business relationship. Meeting with the owner, or main point on contact, only happened a small percent of the time. They weren’t available most of the time. Even if they were, they were busy. Furthermore, the visits didn’t result in a boost of sales. All it did was pull me out of a short staffed office and paying me to spend time ineffectively. They need to hire a full time consumer relations person who will focus on that sort of thing. And the position I have now has absolutely nothing to do with consumer relations. I feel as if he’s trying to drag me back to former duties at the expense of my current duties.

I love my new position and I don’t like the idea of him trying to force me to do something else based on his flawed ideas that his own managers don’t even agree with. I want to learn more about the position I currently have and not be pushed into a completely different ineffective duty. Furthermore, I am tired of working for a company of an owner that his own managers can’t stand. Morale always seems low throughout the whole company and I don’t see this changing.

After I received the punch in the gut last week, I looked online to see what openings  could find for the same kind of work I currently do. I sent my resume online for a could jobs, but one stood out to me. The ad didn’t focus on the experience they are looking for, but the applicants qualities and values. That is so important to me. I emailed my resume and received a call the next day. It was a message on my voice mail as well as an email. I called the lady back and told her I’d be happy to have an interview. Unfortunately, I had to call into work today to keep that interview. I felt guilty, but I have an amazing attendance record and I felt the need to make a sacrifice, take a risk.

I played out questions and answers all weekend. I overthink everything. I woke up with a headache, but a cup of coffee helped it go away. I was anxious walking into the building and meeting the interviewer, who would be my immediate superior if I get the position. I felt comfortable with her. She asked a lot of questions and I felt comfortable answering them and was able to represent myself well. There were a couple of questions I have perfect answers for, but I felt my responses were a bit fumbled because I was on the spot, but I felt I did a decent job at bringing things in the right direction the more I spoke.

A few things were said that I am clinging onto. First, I can tell she appreciates that I have the same values as those of the company. I made it clear that I am a fast learner and I thrive off feedback and constructive criticism. She asked what I felt a reasonable wage would be. I told her I noticed the starting hourly wage posted in the job ad. I told her I currently make $3 more than that, and when I took this position at my current job, I never asked for a raise. I noticed an obvious reaction of surprise from her. I told her my main interest is the opportunity. I told her if the starting wage in the ad is non-negotiable, then I would accept it, with hope that I could request more after I prove myself. She said with the experience I currently have for this position, matching my current wage would be no problem. She expressed that the applications she’s been receiving do have customer service experience, but not specific experience for the position, and I have it. I am going to hope that is a very good sign. She did mention she received a lot of resumes and joked about being ready to be done with them.

One of the final things that was asked in the interview was her asking if I’d need to put in a two week notice. I told her I’d love to say I could start tomorrow, but giving my current employer a two week notice would be the honorable thing to do. We ended by walking out of the office and her thanking me and telling me she will make a decision by the end of the week. I turned around to shake her hand and tell her I am looking forward to hearing from her before I left. I also sent her a thank you email within a few hours after getting home, but she hasn’t replied yet. All I can do is sit and wait. I could easily lose the position to someone else with more charisma who is ready to start work immediately, but I am just going to have to be patient and remember that even if I don’t get the job, that I still deserve a better job and I need to keep looking. I really do appreciate the company values they have there. I am a hard worker and deserve good.

Tomorrow I return to work. Management already knows I am frustrated there because I expressed it to a couple of them on Friday. And they can’t, and won’t, deny I have every reason to be frustrated. Hopefully they won’t want to discuss it much because all I really want to do is catch up on my work.

Two gym memberships

I’ve been a member of 24 Hour Fitness for several years, but as if 2016, the closest one I live to is the location Downtown. Despite it being on of the larger gyms, it gets ridiculously packed during peak hours, and that’s usually what time I go, shortly after work! It’s hard to find weights and equipment available, and if you do, there’s usually someone lingering around waiting to use them.

Another thing that makes it a hassle is the parking. It’s hard to find parking downtown and the designated parking area for the gym is the parking structure next door. It’s two levels and can be very hard to find parking during peak hours. I’ve driven around for twenty minutes looking for parking a few times.

The gym is also in the same area as Golden 1 Arena! If there’s an event there, it gets even more packed and the traffic in that area is awful! The combination of this hassle would discourage me from going to the gym. Especially on days where I was already lacking motivation.

What even keeps me at that gym?! The Les Mills/Group X instructors!! I’m not leaving that gym because of them and their classes! Body Combat, Body Pump, Yoga, Grit, Cycle! They also have Turbo Kick, but I suck at it. I should try it more often.

But I did discover there’s a new Planet Fitness just a couple minutes from where I live, and it’s only $10 a month! I signed up! I’ve been a few times and it wasn’t packed, so it was easy to use the equipment I want!

The only downsides is they don’t have any loose Olympic bars. I guess their theme is to make the gym comfortable for everyone so they don’t encourage meatheads lifting a million pounds, groaning, and slamming weights on the ground. I get it…it can be annoying.

They have Smith machines, instead. I don’t like using Smith machines for squats because I can’t get the form I want and it feels awkward. But I don’t mind doing lunges with it. I can still do plenty of workouts with what they do have there, so it’s a win for me! I like that I can get a decent workout during the hours I’m most likely to want to work out, and it’s super close to home!